The Prank Wars, Part 1
by bluepixy13
Summary: The Goblin King has been gone on business for longer than usual, and when the cat's away, the mice (or in this case, goblins and Sarah) will play pranks.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.-** A little one-shot that came into my head after a picture was posted on the LFFL Facebook group. There will be a part 2, already have an idea in my head for it, but it might be a few days or more before I get around to it. Also I should have the time in these next few weeks to update my current fics. Enjoy! xD

The Prank Wars, Part 1

The goblins were worried. Their King had been gone for far too long, even longer than he had been during the fairy and sprite conflict. And their Queen had been acting stranger than usual. So when Flitter and Scrump got caught pulling pranks on the other goblins, instead of scolding them, Queen Sarah had asked if she could join them. After realizing that she wasn't tricking them into getting even more in trouble, they got excited.

First, they set up a water bucket over a doorway, which Wart was the unfortunate victim of. Then, they placed spiders in the kitchen, which Munchie the cook was none too thrilled about. And finally, they put a whoopie cushion on Hoggle's chair. He grumbled that they needed to grow up, and stomped off. Flitter and Scrump were proud of themselves, thinking that they were done for the day, but Sarah had a different idea. "The King is returning tonight, so how should we prank him?"

There was silence for a full minute, something Sarah didn't realize the goblins were capable of. Finally, Flitter said, in an awed, hushed tone, "We don't prank Kingy. He'll Bog us!"

Sarah waved her hand dismissively, "Well the King needs to learn to lighten up. I tell you what, if he gets mad, I'll take responsibility." That seemed to appease them and they all tried to think of ideas.

"We could tie his boots together," Scrump supplied.

"HIs boots don't have any laces," Sarah replied.

"We could give him pants that are too small," Flitter said.

"Sadly, I think he would enjoy those a bit too much," Sarah laughed.

"Ooh, I knows!" Scrump cried. "You could put a chicken in your shirt and pretend you're fat! I did that to Breeta the other day and she thought I'd eaten too much!'

A lightbulb went off in Sarah's head, as a smirk crossed her face. "Guys, find me the calmest chicken you can."

Later that evening, Jareth appeared straight to his bedroom. That had been the longest, most tedious meeting he'd ever been to. He was looking forward to relaxing with his Queen, perhaps exchange massages. Where was she at? She usually greeted him with kisses and hugs, which led to more...intimate activities.

"Jareth?" Her voice called out from the bathroom.

"Sarah, Precious, why are you in the bathroom, hiding from me?"

"I have something to show you, but I'm not sure how you'll react."

"Love, you can tell me or show me anything. You know I won't get mad, whatever it is."

"Alright, here goes."

At first, Jareth didn't understand why she was fussing. Then he spotted her belly, which was protruding far past her breasts. "Sarah?" He was calm but his voice was still high to his own ears.

She looked sheepishly at him. "Since Karen just recently had my sister, Rebecca, I recognized the symptoms right away, of course."

He stood there, looking stunned. It was possible for Fae to have children, but it typically required magic and a lot of coupling. Sarah wasn't a Fae, though, even if she was immortal now.

Seeing that he wasn't moving, or speaking, she prompted, "Jareth, I'm pregnant." The moment was ruined by a loud squawk as a chicken poked its head out of her shirt. Sarah disolved into a fit of laughter as the chicken scrambled free, clucking as it rushed out the bedroom door. Sarah went stone cold sober when she caught sight of the dark expression on Jareth's face. "Oh, come on, it was a prank."

"I'll teach you not to prank me like that ever again. I think I'll start by making sure you're good and sore in the morning."

Sarah didn't know whether to be frightened or excited by the prospect. Perhaps both.

The goblins didn't get in trouble for their role in the prank played on the King, but they also didn't see their Queen for a whole week.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.-** Ok, so I've finally finished this little short fic. It's not much, and in fact it's more of an epilogue than anything. I basically wanted this to stay short and sweet. Hopefully I'll get around to updating my other stories soon. Thanks everyone!

Part 2

 _"I'm going to kill him,"_ Sarah fumed as she waddled down the corridor, every once in a while having to stop and catch her breath. During these moments, a hard kick would remind her that she needed to try and hurry. Vaguely, she wondered if it was the boy or the girl who was doing the kicking. Probably the boy. Jareth seemed like the type who had kicked _his_ mother while in the womb. She glanced down at the goblin midwife, asking once again the question she'd been asking for months now. "Are twins normal for a Goblin Queen to have?"

Reisel, for that was the midwife's name, glanced up at Sarah and replied, "The Fae don't reproduce as much as mortals do, and I myself have never witnessed a twin birth before. This is truly a blessing."

"Right now, it feels like I've got two sentient bowling balls in my stomach." If she'd known that she was going to end up pregnant with twins, she might not have had so much sex with Jareth that week after she'd pranked him. But at the time, he'd been too hard to resist. Hell, he was impossible to resist on a _bad_ day. Sarah flushed as images of where they'd coupled popped up in her head. Every room in the castle, of course, the gardens, an oubliette, a tree...she still wasn't even sure how they'd accomplished _that_. She was convinced, though, that it was the time where they'd found a dark alcove during a Council meeting which was to blame for her current predicament. They'd almost gotten caught, which had heightened the pleasure for both of them.

"What's so funny?" Reisel asked.

The vision of her and Jareth entwined against a wall disintegrated as she realized she was grinning like an idiot. Okay, so maybe she shouldn't blame him for the consequences, but still, he could at least show up to the birthing on time. Reisel was looking at her expectantly, and Sarah had to come up with an answer without embarrassing herself or the poor goblin. A wicked thought chased through her head. She shouldn't...he'd more than likely introduce more exotic forms of lovemaking if she went through with this. The grin was back, and wider than ever. Reisel had the decency to look perturbed. Sarah leaned in and whispered in her ear.

Jareth rushed into the birthing room, after finally able to get away from the mandatory trade negotiations downstairs. He spotted Sarah laying on the bed, the sheets draped haphazardly, a sheen of sweat covering her exposed skin, and her hair disheveled. He felt his heart squeeze with love. The fact that she had endured months of carrying his offspring without once complaining or blaming him made him wonder what he'd done to deserve her. "I'm not too late, am I, Precious?"

She smiled at him, and he wasn't sure why he suddenly felt a bit of hesitation. Maybe it was the wary expression of Reisel. "Well, you missed the main part, but that's alright. What counts is that you're here. We did it, Jareth. We have two healthy babies." Reisel swiftly handed Sarah two wrapped bundles, then shuffled out of the room just as fast. "Here they are, my love." Sarah pulled back the blankets to reveal two- goblin babies?!

Jareth froze, then looked his wife dead in the eyes. "Sarah, I really do hope this is your idea of a joke."

Confusion clouded her features as she asked, "But...you're the Goblin King, aren't you? So wouldn't it stand to reason that our children would be goblins?"

He felt his jaw tick as he said, "No, I'm a Fae, you know this, so a goblin baby would be impossible." He slowly crawled over to where he was practically on top of her, but not putting any pressure on her body. "Do I need to remind you of how you found yourself in this situation?"

Sarah felt herself responding to his closeness and wondered how he was able to turn her on, despite the fact that she was ridiculously close to giving birth. She never could resist him, she thought once more. "Fine, they're not ours. Spoil sport." She called Reisel back in to take the babies back to their own mothers.

Later, Sarah was holding two perfect infants in her arms, while Jareth sat by her side, stroking her hair. "Are you happy with the names we've chosen for them?" She asked.

"Yes, of course. Brycen is a strong name for our boy, and Starshine is beautiful for our daughter."

"Well, I had considered Peach, but then I was afraid that Toby would make the joke that she would have to marry a man named Mario."

Jareth puffed up, saying sharply, "If _any_ man dares to look at her the wrong way before she's come of age, I will personally guarantee him a permanent trip to the Bog."

Sarah laughed, "And to think, all mortal girls have to worry about is their fathers pointing a gun at their boyfriends." She patted his arm and told him, "You'll be a great father."

"And you'll be an excellent mother." He paused for a minute, then asked, "When would you like to start on having the next one?"

Sarah smirked. "Maybe we should see if we can handle these two first for a while before we decide to have more." Seeing the pout on his lips, she was swift to add, "That doesn't mean sex is off limits. In fact, I think it will be a challenge for us to find new ways to be intimate."

A slow smile spread over his lips. "Challenge accepted."


End file.
